You know that giddy feeling you get when you’re with that special someone? This is it. That giddy feeling. That stomach turning, cheek blushing feeling that makes you want to do cartwheels all over the place ?
This is how I feel every time I leave my photography class. I may have been doing this stuff for a really long time but it’s always a new experience every time I walk into class. And that’s exactly it. People think that just cause they’ve been shooting for a long time they know everything. But what i love most about this class is that it doesn’t matter how much experience you have. When were in class, we level ourselves as if we know nothing, and that’s what makes it even more enjoyable. Learning.
It doesn’t matter what you shoot with. And it doesn’t matter how you manipulate your work. Today I learned that it’s about how people will see your work. How it affects them and how it leaves them inspired.
[this may be too long in this contemporary Tumblr world of three-sentence blogs, so I don’t blame you if you stop reading past this line]
This post has taken me about a week to write, because I don’t even know where I fully stand. While downtown I saw a man in an Army uniform, and while watching the BCS Championship game they highlighted soldiers coming home and being reunited with their families. In my mind, and/or the mind of most Americans, those are images of positivity. Soldiers represent patriotism in some way, and to question that is quite literally treason (in George Bush’s eyes a la Patriot Act).
Sometimes I question how we can support soldiers overseas. It’s like we forget that soldiers are people, and people can be bad. And bad people can do terrible things. But under the guise of a uniform they’re saviors protecting our interest. And I don’t doubt that they protect our interests, but I also feel like the interests that they’re most protecting belong to some men in suits. Men that promote the idea that killing innocent people keeps us safe. Feeding on our fear of having a war on our own soil in order to allow us to drop what we feel is morally right in the name of Uncle Sam.
I understand that our country faces threats against it and soldiers are the ones who protect us against those threats. For that I’m grateful because they do a job I wouldn’t want to do, and I’ll always admit that. At the same time though, in matters like the numerous “wars” overseas where we impose our force unjustly, how can I support that? And how can I blindly support our troops when, and not all of them but a lot of them, celebrate killing innocent people? In my mind I feel like the military is composed of good-natured people who truly want to help, and people who get a superiority complex and feeling of power while holding a gun.
I guess that’s where I start questioning all of this shit, the blind support. I feel like it gives the U.S. government a feeling of solicitude from us. Or maybe I’m just mad that they have to do ‘as they’re told’, even if they know that what they’re doing is wrong. And you think the gov’t wouldn’t take advantage of that? Or maybe I’m mad because mixed in with those soldiers who want to do the right thing are some horrible human beings.
I choose to believe that most soldiers are good people and I wish for their safe return home. It’s a shame the plethora of corrupt reasons that people die for, for money that they’ll never see, of which only fattens the bank accounts of government officials who have financial stake in the war. It’s a shame the things we allow to go on/die for.
If you want to find the right one, then you need to stop giving yourself to the wrong ones, both physically and figuratively. The saying “The good ones are so hard to find”, is indeed a fact, because it actually requires you to FIND them; offering free samples left and right does not define “finding”, it defines the work of a prostitute.
It is a given FACT that the majority of people who are “deserving”, complaining, or whining about not having found the right one, is an overflow of shit. They think because they possess the ability to jump into one relationship after another, spread themselves far and wide, and treat people like toys—that they deserve somebody special. Pardon my french, but fuck you. How delusional are you? Have you ever stopped to think just what exactly you’re doing wrong? No, of course you haven’t. You feel that all good should just be thrusted into your face, and that my prostitute friend, is insane.
To the wolves in disguise that complain about the hardships of finding someone of worth, shut the hell up. YOU’RE DELUSIONAL. To find someone that is trustworthy and faithful, is to be trustworthy and faithful; contrary to what they say, it does help believe it or not. Perhaps it is not your fault, maybe you were taught that in order to find another, is to give yourself to another—over and over again. Or maybe you were taught that no matter how many people you’ve used, it doesn’t matter because you deserve someone good.
The ones you’ve disposed with no care, were in fact the right ones. So what exactly are you looking for? (There’s that void I talked about before.)
The answer to why you’re always alone, is indeed the hardest question to ask.